October Baby Thoughts

28 Weeks, last trimester begins!

It's wild to look back on what I thought was a "baby bump" and realize it was hardly anything at all!  Now I truly have a pregnant belly, and Abe moves around and makes my belly move with punches and kicks.  I always wonder what he's doing in there when he is moving around, trying to get comfy! 

I went with my friend Jenny tonight to see the movie October Baby, and I thought it was a fantastic film.  It is about a 19year old abortion survivor - that is, her mother had a failed abortion attempt, and the baby was adopted by a family despite being born premature and having lifelong complications from prematurity.  She goes to find her mother, who at this point is a successful lawyer who has a daughter and husband.  The way they portray the pain that comes from abortion, and the healing and forgiveness which can come from God, is done so well.  They are not convicting, they are not condemning, and the movie just is powerful without being controversial.  I cried a lot during the movie, because I felt so much empathy for the millions of women who listen to society's lies every year.  The lies that LIFE isn't as important as having a career, or being wed, or having enough money saved up to have a baby, or being the right age, or being in the right circumstances. Sometimes, we just have to trust God with those things, that sometimes life is messy and complicated and not perfect, and that we have to embrace it and live each day with the faith that God will see us through. I feel for the women who listen to society's lies, and choose to ignore God's whisper in their hearts. 

I feel empathy for the women who live with decisions they have made and live with lies that they tell themselves to help ease the pain, to help psychologically justify the actions and yet are still searching for forgiveness - to forgive themselves and to find forgiveness from God.  It's out there, the forgiveness is there. I feel anger at our society for allowing this to continue, I feel anger that our society breeds misunderstanding on the topic and has politicized it to the point of no return.  Our culture finds so many ways of undermining the value of life, of disintegrating it's value to nothing - ignoring how it is a God given gift, that each day is a miracle, that we are created by divine design, that we are all unique and individual yet we are truly brothers and sisters - we all have the same basic needs and desires - but our culture becomes more inhumane each day.  We've gone from being a culture of individualism and personal freedom, to a culture of selfishness and self-centeredness; people can't work together for anything because everyone feels entitled to their way, to doing it how they want it.  We need to be turning to God more than ever these days, to seek our guidance and advice. We need to find answers in the Truth.  We need to re-establish the gift of life, and be true believers that EVERY life is beautiful.  

On earth as it is in Heaven...

I have been reading a book called Kisses from Katie, which is a book about the truth of what God calls us to do as Christians.  Katie was a 19 year-old from Tennessee, who was extremely blessed growing up.  She had a big house and a perfect Christian family. And when she was 16 she decided that she wanted to do mission work when she graduated from high school.  So she moved to Uganda, where she still lives now 4 years later.  She has now adopted 14 children, and she cares for nearly 300+ more on a weekly basis through a non-profit ministry called Amazima.  She has this amazing soul for God, for doing what Christ calls us to do - to care for the widowed, the orphaned, the impoverished.  She feeds the hungry and spreads love to those who may never have felt it.  She cares for people who are sick.  She does this day in, day out, and she does not ask for recognition - simply for the chance, the financial opportunity, to continue to serve the community's needs. She desires deeply to live in a world that can be said "on earth as it is in heaven." She does what many of us would like to do - if we weren't so fearful of the unknown.

Katie speaks her heart, and her heart is always focused on Christ.  She completely loves and follows God before all other things, and it allows her to see the world with different eyes.  She, like Mother Teresa, is filled each day with love from Christ first - which allows her to then give that love to others.  If we try to live and love solely based on our own strength, and not on the strength that the Lord gives us, we will burn out.  We will seek to meet our own selfish needs before we seek to meet the needs of others.  We will not have enough love to give day in and day out.

In our "busy" lives in America that we have created for ourselves, we often choose not to make God a priority every single day.  We may pray every day, but we might do it half-heartedly, or routinely, or as an afterthought.  We rarely take the time and set it aside every day to dedicate our hearts to praying to God for guidance, for wisdom, for the fulfilling, life-giving love that He has to give to us.  I want so desperately to make that time, each day, to truly dedicating my heart towards God, yet I feel that I go through periods where I prioritize it, and then through periods where I let it slide awhile.  God, please let me thirst for you daily! Please give me a heart that seeks Your wisdom first!