First of all, I am thankful for many things for this year, for this time that I have spent in Quito. I am thankful that I was never robbed, that I was never harmed, that my security was never threatened. I am thankful for the people that I worked with, for their kind hearts, for welcoming me so quickly into their lives, and for being there for me when I needed them. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to live in another country, for a longer period of time than just visiting...to begin to understand daily life, and not just be in awe. There are many underlying facets and faces of a city, it's people, and what daily life really is, that can often be missed by quick travels and trips. Yes, even travels can open people's eyes and help people gain perspective on the world; but I believe living somewhere affects things very deep in the heart and soul. It changes you to live outside of your norm, outside of the culture you have grown up in, outside of all that is comfortable and close to you. Thus I am thankful to have the unique opportunity to do what people have assumed is taking a year off of "real life" and exploring something new (although I will argue this has been as real as life has ever been).
I am sad too, to leave behind so many patients, and a job that I really enjoyed. It is such meaningful work, helping to find patients who rarely get any healthcare, and typically really shoddy healthcare at that, and then connecting them with the resources and correct services to help give them life-changing treatments...surgeries, medicines, physical therapy, etc... the patients are so grateful, so loving, so happy with what we can do for them. It's a beautiful job. It's meaningful. It's very real. It's very important... I will support Timmy Global Health's work all of my days!
Lastly, I am happy. I am thrilled to return to comfort, to my family, to my friends, to people have known me for so long. I am thrilled to share the memories of the holidays with loved ones, and not to be alone. I am thrilled to start a new job, as a nurse in the US, and begin a new chapter in life. I am excited to see what lies ahead, and to trust that God knows what He's doing. Although it is always bittersweet to leave a place that I will remember fondly, it also is a great opportunity to embark on the new adventure with a fresh face forward. Plus, not everything in Quito was sweet as roses...I had daily frustrations with being an object for those on the street or the bus, or anywhere I walked or went...it was something that got to me like nothing has ever gotten to me before. It ate me up, and I started dreading leaving my apartment. It was such a strange phenomenon that occured without me even realizing it - that I really avoided anything that made me leave my apartment! It was so unlike me, a person who is typically ready to do anything and jumps at any chance to not experience FOMO (fear of missing out). I became a "hogareña" or a homebody. Not that I didn't enjoy my time reading great books, and listening to music, but at some point even that becomes unhealthy and you need some social interaction.
So, I am ready. I'm ready to come back to an old but new environment. New because I have changed. I have grown older, gained more wrinkles, even had my first gray hair! But I've also learned more my strengths and weaknesses... the feelings of solitude...the feelings of being an outsider... the extremes of my emotions... what true gratitude looks like....what life can be like in its simplest most pure form...and most of all, I have learned the love and mercy of Jesus, which is an infinite, never-ending and all consuming love...
So, here I come. Back to the place I have known all my life. Back to my roots, back to my family. But also back to a new adventure, a big adventure, an endeavor unlike before. Here we go!
Where the Sidewalk Ends
from the book "Where the Sidewalk Ends" (1974)
There is a place where the sidewalk ends
and before the street begins,
and there the grass grows soft and white,
and there the sun burns crimson bright,
and there the moon-bird rests from his flight
to cool in the peppermint wind.
Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
and the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
we shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow
and watch where the chalk-white arrows go
to the place where the sidewalk ends.
Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
and we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
for the children, they mark, and the children, they know,
the place where the sidewalk ends.
from the book "Where the Sidewalk Ends" (1974)
There is a place where the sidewalk ends
and before the street begins,
and there the grass grows soft and white,
and there the sun burns crimson bright,
and there the moon-bird rests from his flight
to cool in the peppermint wind.
Let us leave this place where the smoke blows black
and the dark street winds and bends.
Past the pits where the asphalt flowers grow
we shall walk with a walk that is measured and slow
and watch where the chalk-white arrows go
to the place where the sidewalk ends.
Yes we'll walk with a walk that is measured and slow,
and we'll go where the chalk-white arrows go,
for the children, they mark, and the children, they know,
the place where the sidewalk ends.
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